You Kissing Slut!

She's sweet sixteen, and never been kissed. Never! Except maybe by her creepy father, and the lord.

You Kissing Asshole!

Not sure why a man would want to kiss another man on the mouth before a fight, but here's what happens when he does. The American, Heath Herring, who does not believe actions speak louder than words, assures us repeatedly that he is not gay even if he does sound less sure of himself with each pronouncement. The Japanese fighter, Yoshihiro Nakao, was later taken to hospital and treated for a nasty case of rejection with complications from a broken heart.

You Want Sad, Funny, Scary, Confusing?

Then watch this:




Similar to my reaction when the Illini lost the 2005 title game.

Books Read

Under The Dome by Stephen King
John Dies At The End by David Wong
Fool by Christopher Moore
Jingo by Terry Pratchett
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett
Bobby Fischer Goes To War by David Edmonds and John Eidinow
The Summoner by Gail Z Martin
The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons
Gator A Go-Go by Tim Dorsey
Divine Misfortune by A Lee Martinez
Open by Andre Agassi
The Jordan Rules by Sam Smith


Currently Reading

Homicide: A Year On The Killing Streets by David Simon
The Will Of The Wanderer by Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman

When Fundies Attack

Recently I posted on Twitter my displeasure concerning the Texas School Board's decision to pass a new curriculum favoring religion over evolution. Last night I got a message from a fellow Tweeter, though he and I do not follow one another. Below is the transcript of our conversation. I'm not using names to protect the naive.

Him: You believe all this evilution nonsense or what?

Me: What do you gain by denying it? The evidence is overwhelming.

Him: What evidence, answer me this, can a baby take care of itself? and can something come from nothing?

Me: No. What does that have to do with evolution?

Him: How would the first organism to evolve be able to take care of itself?

Me: Well it was bacteria. Not much to it.

Him: Well what about the first mammal to pop up on the scene, all mammals must have a mom!

Me: Of course.

Him: Ok so obviously the mammal's Mom must of started as an adult, and had to have been created!

Me: False dichotomy.

Him: there is no way the first mammal could have survived without a mother!

Me: I don’t think you understand evolution

At this point I got tired of the argument, and blocked him. He may or may not have replied. I don't know. I didn't see the point in continuing since he didn't appear to have even a Jr. High understanding of evolution.

So, I went to bed, and forgot about the whole thing. When I woke up, however, I found it was far from over. I had seven direct messages sent to me while I slept from people who had obviously read our exchange, and were none too happy with me. Initially I deleted these messages without replying, but, luckily, copies were also sent to my email. I have copy/pasted the messages below, and added what I would have said had I chosen to reply.

Does It Bother You That Your Going To Hell Believing The Evolution Lie?

No. There is no hell. Oh, and it's "You're."

Why do you atheists insist on shoving it down our throats? This country was founded on Christian doctrines.

No it wasn't. It was founded on Greek democracy and the Old Roman Republic.

There is no evidence for evolution, let alone overwhelming evidence. Your just a blind sheep following Darwin.

We have been collecting evidence for over 150 years now, and not a single shred of it has pointed to anything other than evolution. Visit a museum. Oh, and it's "You're."

You and the other evolutionists are bound for hell. Dearwin was a puppet of satan, and so are you.

I'll steer clear of "Dearwin," should I see him.

I will pray for you.

Thank you.

Jesus is LOVE. Evolution led to Hitler. You need to think about the choices your making.

Yes, Hitler "believed" in evolution. He also "believed" in gravity (another scientific theory), and was kind to dogs. Feel free to float away, and kick a puppy. Oh, and it's "You're"

The problem is simple, The Bible is FACT. All you have is a theory.

Evolution is both a fact and a theory. Unlike most seventh graders, you don't even know what a scientific theory is.

There you have it. I know I'm dealing with the lunatic fringe here, so there's no need to expound upon this any further. I just wanted to share. Although, I'm surprised none of them called me a "looser."

The Creepshow - The Garden

I'm almost convinced that nobody reads this blog, but that's okay. Earlier this week I made a rare discovery: a band I like that was formed within the last five years, performing a song I like written before 1995. So I thought I would share it with you, Non-Existent Reader.

Fission Mailed

In my least shocking news of the year I would like to announce that I failed my Slow Reading Challenge with Stephen King's Under The Dome. What can I say? The book was good, and I wanted to see what happened. This actually happened about a month ago, and I've read a few since. I think in place of the Challenge I'll just keep a running list of what books I read this year.

Books Read

Under The Dome by Stephen King
John Dies At The End by David Wong
Fool by Christopher Moore
Jingo by Terry Pratchett

Currently Reading

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett
Bobby Fischer Goes To War by David Edmonds and John Eidinow

Fair and Balanced

Dear Mr. Science Guy,

You make me wanna spit. Yesterday, I seen you on the tv - and it weren't no honest tv like fox news - talkin about how it ain't vaxinations causin babies to get autisitic. You must think I was born yesterday. You think I am so stupid as to not see your fancy little cover up? Huh? You think I don't know that you egg heads are just pupets for Big Pharma? And that Big Pharma is just a pupet for the goverment and Barrak Husane O'Bama? And that Husane is taking orders directly from the New World Order?

Yeah, you talk like you are on the up and up. Sayin I can go here or there on the computer, and see for myself. Well I ain't goin to some liberal website tryin to convert me in to a dam muslim! No sir. Did Barrak Husane O'Bama cry for this country? No! You know who did? Glen Beck, and he ain't said word one about vaxines NOT causin autism. And unlike your hero Keith Overman he is FAIR AND BALANCED.

So save your breath because this guy right here ain't fallin for it! I ain't gettin my boy vaxinated, and I ain't drinkin milk from no radioactive cows, and I damn sure ain't puttin no muslim back in the white house!!!

You discust me,

Grant 'Jimmy Lip' Hogan