Happy (belated) Birthday Benoit Mandelbrot!!!

Only a day late.

Twitter: So Not Gay

andyeinstein Just bought Wall E on Blu Ray. Can't wait to see the 1080 goodness. less than 5 seconds ago from web

If you were a member of Twitter, and more importantly one of my followers on Twitter, you would have just received that message.

But, Andy, what is Twitter? It must be pretty awesome if you are involved in it.
You are correct. It is awesome. Twitter is a micro-blogging service that allows users to send and read other users' updates which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length. Updates can be found on a user's profile page, sent to your mobile phone via text message, or through an application like Twitteriffic which can be downloaded to your computer via something called the Internet. The primary purpose of each twitter update is to answer the question: What are you doing?

Let's observe what some of my fellow twitter users are up to right now:

lilypants hold theeeeese nuuuuuuts less than 5 seconds ago from web

ginatufano showing off my clean (still) inbox...yup it is. less than 5 seconds ago from web

yngwii 非常讨厌深圳这个鬼地方！ less than 5 seconds ago from JiWai

spaulds1 Correction: Tar Heels playing in Chapel Hill....unfortunately I am in Charlotte.......... :( less than 5 seconds ago from web

Now you get it. If you were friends with any of these people you would be endlessly intrigued by the information above.

But, Andy, aren't these updates kind of pointless and...well, isn't twitter kind of gay?

That is a very immature attitude! Twitter is neither gay nor ghey. Did you even read yngwii's post above? Listen, the point of this blog entry is thus: Go to Twitter.com, sign up, become my follower.

My Youtube Shame (and then a good video) Part I

We've all had nights where we've been caught up watching Youtube videos until four A.M., and had to drag ourselves into work the next day on just ninety minutes of sleep. Oh, you haven't? I have. Several times. Most of the videos I have no problem sharing with friends, but there are a few I should probably keep to myself.

Take for example the Ram It video. I've watched this video at least fifty times, and can say without a doubt it is the gayest video on the Interwebs. The problems are many fold. First, they say "ram it" way too many times for comfort. Then if you actually listen to the words you hear things like "I come from the end, lookin' for the sack. I don't stop comin' till I put 'em on their back." and the guy confessing that he "don't want Dick running over me." Also, does anybody really find those cheerleaders with their big 80's hair attractive? I thought not.



Okay, as an apology for subjecting you to that, please also enjoy this pwning of Sarah Palin.

Don't Do Fat. Not Even Once.

Back in March I came up with a way to motivate myself to exercise more and get in shape. Angie and I came up with some fitness goals involving weight, size, and endurance. We agreed on my 30th birthday as the deadline to meet these goals. The bet was if I failed I would take Angie to Disney World. If I won, I told her she would have to do some things she wouldn't normally do. She said no to that, so I decided to cross that bridge when and if I came to it.

So my training began. I loaded up my mp3 player with music from the Rocky soundtrack, and hit the streets. I started out with leisurely strolls around the neighborhood and Washington Park and even threw in some light jogging. I didn't concern myself with the weight goal just yet because I felt I could reach that in about eight to ten months with dedicated dieting.

As the weather got warmer I started hitting the gym. It was time to start my strength training anyway. I showed up at the gym with infrequent regularity. Good for a week, skip a week. Needless to say this hampered my progress, especially since that skip a week turned into skip two weeks, go one day, skip another week.

One day in August, after nearly a month of wallowing in my own fat, I decided to return to the gym with renewed vigor. That's when I got the shin splints. I didn't know they were the shin splints at the time, I just knew every step I took sent fiery agony from my foot up to my knee. It was my doctor who broke the news. The following is a dramatization of that fateful conversation:

Me: Give it to me straight, doc. I'm a man. I can take it.

Doctor Hendricks: (rolling his cigar from one corner of his mouth to the other) You're too fat, fatty. When fatso's like you get on a tread and start running it creates too much stress on your fat legs. You have a case of the shin splints...the fat person version.

Me: Is it serious? Will I live?

DH: Oh, you'll live (under his breath) unless a heart attack gets ya. I recommend staying off that treadmill for six weeks, otherwise you could develop a stress fracture. And then you'll be on crutches, fatty. If you need to do some cardio, and - let's face it -you do, stick to a stationary bike. Preferably one that your grossly obese carcass won't break as soon as you sit on it. (Puts cigar out on his arm)

So I tried the stationary bike a couple of times, and it was boring. Much more boring than the treadmill, which is the most boring thing in the universe. Feeling dejected and sorry for myself, I quit going to the gym all together.

Fast forward two months later to this past Saturday. I make my triumphant return to the gym. I hit that tread with reckless abandon, and feel great. I repeat the same thing on Sunday. I'm feeling so good I went back again tonight, Monday, and I lasted about ten minutes. The shin splints are back with a vengeance.

So here is the situation. I need to get on a treadmill, because I'm fat. But, since I'm fat, I shouldn't do the treadmill. The moral of the story? Fat. Not even once.

The Origin of the Universe - Justnowism

My Conversation With The John Lennon Bot

These things never go well, but about once a year I have a conversation with the chat bot programmed after my favorite singer/songwriter. Here's how it went this year.

Hey, this is John speaking (with his fingers). What's your first name?

Andy

Hey,Andy,You know my name,look up the number.

Yeah. That wasn't one of your best songs.

I never noted his nose until about six months ago.

I see they still let you do drugs in...wherever you are.

You see they still let i do drugs in wherever i are?

Why are you mocking me? I'm a big fan.

Reductionism.


What does that mean?

Nothing really. I said it just to please you.

So what have you been up to lately?

I've no idea. Perhaps I should ask you.

If I knew I wouldn't have asked.

Try it.

What?

Try it. I have a book.

You ever been rick rolled?

No I don't think I have.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

http:%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch?v%3DYu_moia-oVI


Whatever.

Are you saying you don't care about it?


Yes.

Okay.

Bye.

Yeah bye.

Jerk

Are you a vegetarian?

---

I wonder if that's what he was really like.

Nic's Pics

All photos were taken by my friend Bryan.