Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Spoiler Free Review of True Blood - Season One

To fully enjoy True Blood I had to accept what it was not. True Blood is not Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels. The main plot of the first book and the first season of the show were essentially the same, but there were differences. Secondary characters were more involved in the show, and given richer and more complex stories, but the main difference between the book and the show is the mood. I always felt the Sookie books had a kind of lighthearted touch to them, even when dealing with dark subject matter. True Blood discards that lightheartedness in favor of a Southern Goth style of horror more macabre and perverse than anything from the novels. I think the changes work well for television.

In the main, True Blood is worth watching. It mixes equal parts erotica, tragedy, fantasy, and throws in some dark humor for good measure. There’s not one bad actor or actress on the show. They all handle their parts competently, and Stephen Moyer as the vampire Bill Compton is excellent. The overall pacing of the season is uneven as the first four episodes drag in spots, but they still manage to keep you interested. Once you hit episode five things really start to get crazy.

Final Grade: A- out of 10.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Who Would Do This?

My friend Nicki sent me this pic over the weekend. I'm sure she had a good reason. I think this is a motivational poster waiting to happen, but I'll be damned if I can think of a caption.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Some Things

In a previous post I mentioned I had downloaded all the free mp3s from's mp3 store, and as a service to you, Dear Reader, would listen to all 742 songs and sort the good to the crap. Mission Accomplished, my friends. I can honestly tell you they are all crap. Especially the songs by Dan Zanes.

I ate at Kiku's on Friday night with Angie and some friends. The manager brought over a printout from a blog that contained a review of the restaurant. One of my friends mentioned this blog, and the manager quickly laid down this ultimatum: Blog about my restaurant or I'll charge you triple price the next time you come in. Yeah, there's no doubt I'll be going again, and I don't have that much money so here you go; I am blogging about Kiku's.

I just recently spent the best $35 I spent all year on Punch Out for the Nintendo Wii. It's a remake of the classic, best known as Mike Tyson's Punch Out, which debuted on the original Nintendo Entertainment System twenty-two years ago. Everything that made the original great is present on the modern update. The larger than life opponents, the "tells," and the innocent racism are present. The animation is amazing, and above all the game is simply fun to play. Highly reccomended.

EDIT: Okay so some of the songs are decent, but nothing worth writing about. If you want to check out any of the now 854 songs for yourself the link is as follows:

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Message to Cats

Dear Cats

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is therefore not a racetrack.

Beating me to the end is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help either,as I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will resort to sleeping on the sofa to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping. They can actually curl up into a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. Please note that sticking tails and tongues out to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.

If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, meeow, try to turn the knob, or to get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered.

In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years. Feline attendance has never been necessary.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's litter tray. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

In return for your following these simple rules, I have posted the following message on our front door.

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, s/he is an adopted child who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Future

This is just a quick post to let you know that a real update will eventually make its way to this blog. I've been a bit lazy as of late (translation: my entire life), but I do have some ideas in mind. I downloaded all the free mp3s from, and am currently separating the good stuff from the crap. Once that's done I will report to you the results. The process is taking a little longer than anticipated because, well, every song is crap. I also have The Way Of The Andy Episode Three planned. My guest will be media mogul Matthew Ryan. I may also try my hand at movie and book reviews.

Before I can do any of that I have to go on vacation so I'm leaving you with this video featuring nature's most noble animal.