Friday, August 24, 2012

E-Book Editing Fun

One of the many advantages owning an eBook reader has over reading the traditional bound edition is the ability you have to make your own edits to the book. Of course, this takes some work with software the book publishers might not approve of you using, but that is not something we need to discuss - is it? 

If I find an author I enjoy, but think he/she is using too many adverbs (especially during dialog) I can pick three or four of the most common, and remove them with no adverse effect. Thus, "'Go fuck yourself,' she said hotly." becomes, "'Go fuck yourself,' she said." See? The adverb is an unnecessary qualifier. If a writer's dialog requires an adverb or other descriptor to convey the emotion, then the dialog is weak. The above example works just fine without the adverb.

Sometimes an author can become too fond of a certain word(s). I noticed Terry Pratchett uses the words "quite" and "rather" and it started to bug me. I'm not sure if it's a chink in his writing armor, or just the fact that he's British, but I'd feel a pang of annoyance every time I read one of these words. Once again it was only a matter of moments to get rid of them. From then on "quite a lot" became "a lot" and "a rather large troll" was reduced to "a large troll."

One fun edit I read about was replacing the word "wand" with "wang" in the Harry Potter books. The result being wizards drawing and pointing their wangs at one another, or if an innocent bystander word gets swept up in the editing, you'll find Ron and Harry wangering around Hogwarts. I may or may not have taken this one step further by changing Voldemort to Buttface McGee.

After I post this, I plan on reading the first few chapters in the fifth book of Lee Child's Jack Reacher series. Over the first four books I found the sentence "So-and-so shrugged" or similar variants showed up about every three pages. Using the Kindle's "Search This Book" feature it turned out to be once every three and one-third pages. Way too repetitive for me so back to the editing board. Starting with this book instead of reading "Reacher shrugged," I'll be reading "Reacher did a sexy dance." Might liven up an already exciting series.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Andy to Andy - Hitler Apologists

It's the episode that took a week to record! The Andy's kick things off by discussing topics that were relevant last week: the Tosh rape joke fiasco. Then it's on to netflix vs. cable, and someone who is always relevant: Shaq. Bootleg fireworks are displayed. They decide to pause recording because they ran out of topics to discuss, but vow to return once they've come up with something. A week passes, and the Andys return to debate the possibility of Bigfoot, and somehow find themselves defending Hitler.

Click here to download.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Return of the Fence - Man vs. Owl

Andy and Bryan have returned from their tryouts for the US Olympic Cricket team, and are ready for another awesome podcast. They discuss Go Daddy's honesty and offering of vector images. From there it's a weird dream Andy had that might not be far from reality. Can a world class practitioner of Jiu Jitsu break a bear's arm? How would you do in a fist fight against an owl? What about an owl the size of a human? Wes Anderson has a following of hipsters. Mitt Romney gets booed by the NAACP, while a new HBO series lectures you on the news.

Click here to download.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Return of the Fence - Strugglin'

Andy and Bryan have been out in the heat shooting jump shots all day, but return in time for another podcast. They talk about the Supreme Court's recent ruling on President Obama's health care bill. Has Obama gone too far this time? No. They watch a prank call into a weird religious public access show, and then round out the show with some video game chat. They think they have discovered a way to revolutionize gaming, but then realize people have been doing it in their basements for years.

Click here to download.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Andy to Andy - Game of Groans

Angie joins the Andys in this extra long episode to discuss the ins and outs of Season 2 of Game of Thrones, and how it differs from the books. Warning: There are major book spoilers in this episode, but only for the first two books in the series. We don't discuss any future events for upcoming seasons. A couple spoilers tried to sneak past us, but were edited out. I can't guarantee all minor spoilers were caught.

Click here to download.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Return of The Fence - Show Toppings

Andy and Bryan are on the couch after a long day of ice skating. They talk Andy's rental car he is forced to drive, and watch a video featuring a guy that "don't take no orders from no women." Bryce Harper is a cocky asshole. Can you jam with the Console Cowboys? There's a video from a kid who looks like Screech Jr, very creepy. And finally, Bryan claims Dominoes has the best pizza in the area, and the show comes to a crashing halt.

Click here to download.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Andy To Andy - The Jackin It Paradigm

Another false start in this one, but quickly resolved. Andy shares a story about witnessing a car accident where he was the only decent person around, while the Other Andy tries to cram as many poop jokes in as he can. The Andys then move on to the Florida Zombie, a shark on a water slide, and what they would do if they found themselves in the Groundhog's Day scenario. After that it gets weird.

Download the episode here.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Return of The Fence - There Is No God

Andy and Bryan listen to some wild porn in this one. Then they talk about the differences between agnostics and atheists, about how all Americans are actually liberal, and wonder if they even want a god to exist. They end the show with a hissy fit thrown on the floor of the Illinois State Legislator.

Take the political compass test here.

Download the episode here.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Andy to Andy - Ty Bakeafish

In this episode the Andys review Adam Sandler's career, and talk about a man who was cut off at an all you can eat fish fry. After that it's a lot of rambling, then devolves into celebrity impressions, and finally the world's biggest high school football fan.

Click here to download.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Return of The Fence - Homiciders

In this episode Andy and Bryan discuss the unique smell in Sears, watch the worst music video in recent memory, critique Guns n' Roses front man Axl Rose, review the current Billboard Top Ten (they haven't heard any of the songs), and watch the craziest anti-gay rant ever.

NOTE: For reasons unknown this podcast switches from stereo to mono. Don't ask me why. I tried, but couldn't fix it.

Click here to download.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Andy to Andy: Riffed Off

In this episode the Andys discuss the movies Rock-afire Explosion and Cabin in The Woods. We talk about the eight things the so-called Facebook Generation can live with out, and finally about music thievery. There's also some belching, giggling, and discussion about the unspoken social contract.

Download the episode here.

EDIT 4/30/2012: Link should be fixed.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Return of The Fence: Michael Jordan Hologram

Another podcast with the classic Invisible Fence line up. We talk about movies for the first 3/4, then we discuss the Tupac hologram and its impact on the future of sports. Also, Andy almost makes out with his dentist.

See a clip of us recording the episode here.

Download the episode here.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Andy to Andy: Fuck 'Em

Well now, what do we have in this one? The Andys get off to a rough start with unexpected music and cats falling off couches, but rally to talk about movies, the lottery, and share a couple funny stories.

Click here to download.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Another Chat With The John Lennon Bot

Since my last talk with the John Lennon Bot didn't go so well, I thought I'd give the old boy another shot. Transcript below.

> Hey, this is John speaking (with his fingers). What's your first name?

 > Andy

What are you doing in my kitchen Andy ?

> Making a sandwhich. Want one?
What time is it?

> It's still early. I feel like our last talk didn't go well. Thought I'd try again.
Once more? No, all those things are beyond me.

> Please don't ruin this.

> Thanks. Have you been watching The Walking Dead?
I could listen to you for hours.

> Oh, you like the podcast?
Yeah, sure.

> You might be my most famous fan.
I heard some rumors going around: I might be yourmost famous fan . The Biafran public relations people thought it was good for their cause, and I'd accept their opinion over yours any day. Stands for popular.

> The only Biafran I know is Jello.
Who told you that?

> I did. Is it true you called Paul a big, fat cunt?
When? By remote control.

> I don't think we should see each other anymore.
What else do you know?

> Goodbye forever.
If it's imagery, it's imagery.

> Bitch
Is there room on your shoulder for both of us?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Return of The Fence

Bryan and I reunite for a no name podcast. I show off my new soundboard, we poke fun at music form the 1970s, and Angie interrupts the show. There's also talk of the Republicans, and a lady with a crazy voice.

Click here to download.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Andy to Andy Podcast

I ran into my friend The Other Andy earlier in the week, and an impromptu podcast broke out. It's recorded with just an internal microphone on a laptop, so the sound quality is low, but the content is good. I think. I introduce a new sound effect I learned, and we talk about the Scatman, the Chicago Blaxican, and Liam Neeson. Also we're both fat so there's a lot of mouth breathing.

Click here to download.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012